BanterCast Launches Photography Competition!

A banterous banterography competition for all lovers of banter and the BanterCast! Win amazing prizes!

We're asking all fans of the show to take pictures of the BanterCast logo in a banterous place.

Some suggestions:

-Sellotaped to the back of a policeman's head.
-Attached to a Bernard Manning DVD.
-Stuck on your face while driving a car through an exploding building.
-All of the above simultaneously.

What you will need:

*A print out of the image below
*A camera
*Eyes
*A banterous disposition

(click on the image to get the full sized version, innit)

When you think you've got a winning pic, send it to Tabbzy & Charltzy by any of the following unimaginative ways:

Facebook facebook.com/bantercast
Twatter twatter.com/bantercast
E-mail thebantercast@gmail.com

What are the prizes I hear you scream?

RUNNERS UP: Signed BanterCast images with personalised message!

FIRST PRIZE: An interview with Tabbzy and Charltzy, that will be feature in a future episode of the show!!

Judd Apatwat DVD Collection Released

Just a quick reminder that Judd Apatwat's entire movie collection is available for purchase at all online retailers from the 25th of October.

The 2-disk set includes:

"Ugly Shit-Head 'n' Hot Chick"

Co-starring Megan Fox, rated 15.

"Lazy Stoner Dickwad Brigade"

Starring Adam Sandler, rated 18

"The 30-Year-Old Twat"

Featuring Rob Schneider, rated T for Twat.

"Ginger, Fat, Curly-Haired, Unfunny Wankers 2"

Starring all those twats from American Pie, unrated.

The movies can also be downloaded from the iTunes store or directly from Universal's website:

www.universal-online.com/comedy/lowquality/twats/judd.html

David Blaine Disappears Up Own Anus

In a bizarre and unfortunate incident earlier this week, famed street "magician" David Blaine disappeared from his New York apartment, much to the distress of his family and friend. (pet ferret called Tito)

NYPD police chief Jack Bastorde, was initially concerned it was a terrorist kidnapping plot:

"My first thought was that it must be one of them Bin Laden-type folks from Kaplakistan, till we realised who it was that had gone missing and started looking closer to home"

Chief Bastorde's blatant racism and quick thinking led him to realise that Mr Blaine was most probably still in his apartment somewhere inside his own anal passage.

"We found the sucker curled up on his sofa, his head was clean up his ass" the Bastorde continued, "We think he'd been watching his own DVD's, probably what caused it to happen"

This is not the first time a celebrity has disappeared up their own arse hole, earlier in the year TV presenter Jeremy Kyle had to have his head surgically removed from between his arse cheeks.

BanterCast Show Notes: Episode 0

Holy shit, a new episode of the BanterCast!!?

Actually, no.

To fill the massive void between episodes 3 and 4, we are finally uploading the previously unreleased test pilot episode of the BanterCast.

In fact, at this point it wasn't even called the BanterCast, Tabbzy and Charltzy just sat down one sweaty summer afternoon in August 2008 and decided to record their banterisms in mp3 format.

The rest, as they say - is (racial) history.

So get ready for a very special episode, no deep voiced guy, no adverts, no mailbag or proper top ten - just 35 minutes of top notch Shane Ritchie-related banter!

Download Episode Zero

The BanterCast: Episode 0 "Prequel Banter"

Episode Zero - "Prequel Banter". The show that turned into The Tabbzy & Charltzy Show, also known as the BanterCast.

This podcast was made several months before "Episode 1 - Banterous Introductions" was ever recorded!

To be honest, we thought it was a bit too risqué to unleash on the interwebs, so it's been in an underground bunker for the past year - until now!

In this very special prequel episode the lads:

*Argue over what the podcast should be about.

*Talk about importing curry powder and nuclear weapons.

*Confuse black vans with black men.

*Discuss jiggly homosexuals and world poverty.

*Create new poor-taste TV shows.

*Analyse Ricky Gervais' face.

*Try to comprehend the Top 10 most searched items in the USA.

*Lay into Microsoft's email advertising policies.

*Reminisce about Shane Richie's Daz adverts.

and more!

This Episode of The BanterCast was NOT sponsored at all, honestly - who would've?

Download Episode Zero

New TV Show Will Execute Member of Public Live on Air

The American television channel HBO announced their new lineup of summer shows today, among them was a controversial new reality show called "Roommates".



In a similar vein to shows like Big Brother and Survivor, members of the public will be chosen to live in a lavish New York apartment and filmed for 24 hours a day, for a duration of 22 and a half months.
The catch however, is that when a "Roomie" is evicted they are shot in the face - live on TV.

An extract of the press release from HBO about the show:

The first season of Roommates will feature six wild and crazy guys and gals who represent a wide cross-section of people in the United States;
Joel Jefferson the jock, Sadie Humperdink the bisexual taxidermist, Frank Goldberg the Jewish Nazi, Dirk Tessler the ex-Navy Seals Commando turned make-up artist, Georgia Washington the stripper with a secret (cock) and Sabrina Shitzler the part-time sexy garbage disposal worker and full-time member of the KKK.

Every day will feature a new and painful challenge for the "Roomiez" to try which folks will love watching at home!
Some activities include;
*BATH BOMB! - Roomiez will try and lie in a bath of acid for as long as possible, first one to jump out gets shot in the face!
*CEREAL KILLER! - Roomiez will try and eat as much cereal as possible, the catch? It's made of glass and the milk is actually acid!
*HEAD IN THE OVEN! - Same rules as BATH BOMB but this time featuring a gas oven!
......and many including: CELINE DION CONCERTS and watching SEASON 21 of THE SIMPSONS!

Despite several years of attempts to broadcast live executions before by HBO, this show is actually the first of it's kind in the United States.
Before now, only hangings in foreign countries (Saddam Hussein) and popular murder trials (OJ Simpson) were allowed to be shown in detail, but a new law passed in the State of Texas will let any member of the public be shot in the face if they sign a waiver beforehand.

Roommates will start airing on the special "Roommates channel" from July 26th, the first execution will happen on eviction night, 2 weeks later.

BanterCast Teams Up With Online Service "Twatter"

The BanterCast is proud to announce it's collaboration with the exciting new online social phenomenon - Twatter!


Twatter allows users to send daily "Twats" to their friends, colleagues and enemies, describing exactly what twattish thing they are doing at the moment.

When the user logs in they are greeted by the simple question:
"What Twatty thing are you doing right now?"
The user can then respond in less than 140 characters.

Several celebrities have signed up to the service including Jonathon Ross, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jimmy Carr who keep fans updated with their twat-headed daily routines.

Twatter was started in 2006 by Jack Dorsey (Dozzy to his friends), who noticed that the most popular thing about social networking sites like FaceBook and MySpace was simply the status updates.

"I realised that people generally just want to tell others how much of a twat they are" said Dozzy, when asked how he had the idea for Twatter.

"Stupid shit people feel they need to share with everyone else was a gold mine just begging to be exploited!"

Tabbzy and Charltzy approve this message.

Join The BanterCast on Twatter by clicking here. (or in the side bar)

Jade Goody Enters The "Top 10 Dead Racists" Hall of Fame

As broken in episode 3 of the BanterCast, the TV starlet Jade Goody passed away sometime last week or month.

No sooner had she been buried, and she was already on the nominees list for "Top 10 Dead British Racists", one of the highest accolades available in the United Kingdom.

The panel at the British Society for Racist Excellence (BSRE) recognised her work in the Big Brother Celebrity game show where she repeatedly threw racist insults at an Indian cohabitant, Shilpa Shetty.

The fact that she somehow managed to come out the situation unscathed, even convincing her victim to be her friend, may have helped her chances in entering the BSRE hall of fame.

In an interview with the Daily Star she famously said "I'm not a racist, honest to God I'm not", this was evidence enough for most people in the UK who immediately forgot she was a 5-star racialist.

Famously her victim, Ms Shetty, flew to England to visit Goody on her death bed, but in a final outburst of racist energy, she denied her access to the hospital room saying "I aint catching no Asian lurgy innit", with which her publicist Max Clifford quickly translated to; "Ms Goody is too unwell for any visits at this time".



"By the time of her death everyone had forgotten about her racism and felt sorry for her" Bernard Manning Jr of the BSRE said in a press statement; "For that she deserves this honour, she was a truly remarkable racist".

Her statue will be placed in the "British Hall of Racism" located in basement of The Houses of Parliament, London.
Tickets to view the hall are £1.50 for adults, 75p for children.

Google Window Released On Unsuspecting Public

Google announced a controversial new addition to their ever-expanding map service today in the form of "Google Window".


Following the success of Google Maps and Google Street View, this new service allows users to zoom into individual windows and view a live webcam stream.

Google president Eric Schmidt (known as Schmizzy to his friends) was available for an exclusive interview after the press launch of the service, and had several things to share with BanterCast fans.

"We're using technology we adapted from the Google Street View service to bring an ever closer view of inside your neighbour's property".
He went on to suggest some uses for Google Window;
"You could see if your friend is at home without needing to call them up!" he said excitedly "or just get a view of your neighbour getting undressed....I know which I'll be doing".

At that point Mr Schmidt was escorted from the press room by his handlers, who said he was urgently needed in a meeting.

Opponents to the service have called it a "massive intrusion on civil liberties and gross invasion of privacy", but Google were quick to respond with; "that's bullshit, if people didn't want to be spied on, why do they leave their curtains open?"

Google Window View will only be available in certain parts of the US and Canada at first, but Google are hoping to expand it to all countries at a later date.

The service will go live summer 2009, whether you like it or not.

Urban Dictionary Recognises The BanterCast

You all know that we like to make up new words on The Tabbzy and Charltzy Show, or as we see it - teaching you words you SHOULD already know but didn't.

Well, the world's biggest source of made-up words, the Urban Dictionary or simply "The Big Urban Dic" as we call it on the BanterCast, has recognised FOUR of the words frequently found on everyone's favourite morally questionable podcast.


*Bantercasting - "The action of recording a show primarily involved in the broadcasting of banter, usually a radio show or podcast"

*Banterism - "A funny quote or word uttered by someone"

*Bantercast - "A compound word. (banter+broadcast/podcast) A show primarily involved in the broadcasting of comedy/banter, e.g a radio show or podcast"

*Bantercaster - "A person who partakes in recording a comedy radio show or podcast"

At this point we're not going to say we're bigger than Jesus/the prophet Mohammed or every other podcast in the world or something like that.

Give us a few more weeks though, you never know.

The BanterCast: Episode 3 "Celebrity Endorsements"

Episode 3 - "Celebrity Endorsements". The BanterCast, AKA The Tabbzy & Charltzy Show.

This week the lads:
*Explain why they were away for so long.
*Browse through a very special mailbag
*Go through the BanterBlog Updates
*I can't believe I found that on the internet! (Feat Saddam Hussein!)
*Top 10 TV Shows that were almost made.
*I can't believe they do that in Japan/Pakistan!

and more!

This Episode of The BanterCast was endorsed by a billionaire hotel owner's daughter

Download Episode 3

BanterCast Show Notes: Episode 3

Holy Christ on a biscuit, we're back!
After a hiatus of over 4 months, Tabbzy and Charltzy sit down for the third instalment of the world's most banterous podcast.

We've been to hell and back these past few months, put away for a crime we probably didn't commit, sharing cells with the most unsavoury of characters, most of which had heard the show and we're waiting to extract brutal revenge on us.

But we put all that aside, and we bantercasted our arses off.

We've made so many celebrity friends these past months, that our mailbag was chock full of endorsements from all sorts of famous people, we even managed to get one of them to sponsor the BanterCast live on the show!

The Top 10 in this episode was compiled by the BanterCasters themselves after extensive background research of the Television industry, using insider information, complex computer hacking and some less-then-legal methods, we compiled a list of TV shows that were very almost made, but the plug got pulled at the last minute for some pathetic reasons.

I think we also set a record for mentioning Saddam Hussein and wooden penises the most times ever within a 45 minute show.

This picture will make sense after you listen.

Download Episode 3

Barack Obama Frees The Bantercasters!

As many of you now well know, myself (Charltzy) and my co-bantercaster-in-crime Tabbzy, have been freed from Gitzy Bay.

This is mainly due to now-President Barack Obama, (friend of the show and occasional contributor) closing down the infamous prison and allowing us to be tried in a court in our own country.

This naturally caused an international stir and we were singled out as 2 examples of why they shouldn't have closed the prison, unfair some may cry, probably justified others have said.

But our good friend Barack, known as B.Ozy to his friends, didn't back down and in fact defended us, and our actions in a recent 22-page interview with TIME magazine.


Now many of you are wondering, what exactly we could have done to be locked up without charge, thrown in the depths of a prison worse than a Benidorm hotel and the public being told we don't exist anymore.

Well, lets just say it involved some "religious types" throwing their weight around, an amusing T-shirt, beards catching on fire, the daughter of an Arab Prince, 6 bottles on cheap vodka and misunderstandings of the English language.

We'll let you fill in the details with your imagination. Your guesses are probably accurate.

Maybe now we can finally record episode 3 of the BanterCast!

FaceBook Friend Saves Man From Suicide, Two Weeks Too Late

On the 10th of February 2009, Barry Twinklemire, 26, was found dead in his 1 bedroom apartment in South West London.
According to his FaceBook history, Barry had left a suspicious message on his profile page, his last update of his online status had read "Barry Twinklemire is...going to kill self in bathtub with a laptop".

Police, who found him in the bathtub with his laptop, are calling it an "apparent suicide or a tragic incident".

Barry had over 67,000 friends on FaceBook, many of which had tried to help Barry by sending him a "hug" or a "poke" to prevent him from going through with it.

The police tried to contact many of these friends on why he might have done it, but none were available to comment.

The tragedy was also very nearly avoided, as Barry's FaceBook friend, Steve "The Party Sensation" Sandbrook, had read the suicide note on the social networking website.

"The minute I saw Barry's note, I jumped in my car and drove straight to his place to stop him" Mr Sandbrook said.
He continued; "I got there as fast as I could, but it was a long drive and ferry ride from the Isle of Man, plus I'd never met the guy before and only knew that he lived somewhere in London".

After a week and a half of investigating and searching through 34 different phonebooks, Steve found Barry's house, but was too late to save his friend.
"I was just a couple of weeks too late, but I gave it a bloody good shot", said a devasted Sandbrook.
"I'll probably just spend a few days exploring the captial before heading back home".

FaceBook director and founder, Mark Zuckerberg, saw the positive side of the incident:
"I think this story just proves how FaceBook brings people together, Larry Twanklemire might have just rotted away in his patheticly puny apartment if it hadn't been for the service, his friends really came through for him here".

Many of Barry Twinklemire's friends have left messages of condolence on his FaceBook page, and it has so far amassed over 8 comments.

Tabbzy & Charltzy Detained in Guantanamo Bay, BanterCast Postponed

Many people have wondered about the fate of the BanterCast, which since episode 2 has not seen any new instalments.

Everything was looking rosy for The Tabbzy and Charltzy Show, a new deal signed with Apple to have the show available on the iTunes store, Tabbzy involved in a major Bollywood production and Charltzy's court case finally being resolved.

Unfortunately the banterous duo have been accused of several major international crimes and are currently being held in Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba.

President-elect Barack Obama, a friend and fan of the show, is currently considering shutting down Guantanamo (known as "Gitzy Bay" by the locals) in order to free the 2 Bantercasters.

Until Obama is sworn in on the 20th of January, the anticipated third episode of the BanterCast will never go ahead.

Readers are encouraged to leave messages of support for Tabbzy and Charltzy in the comments section below.

Stay tuned to the BanterBlog for any updates.

Updated by a defence representative of her Majesty's Government.