Bin Laden's MTV Cribs Episode Postponed

Recently made dead Al Qaeda head honcho Osama Bin Laden’s Abbottabad crib was to be featured in MTV Cribs special it has been revealed

Terror chief had filmed only half of the 30 minute episode

MTV to sue Obama administration for programme loss

GUTTED MTV Cribs bosses looking to air the Osama Bin Laden Abbottabad episode are desperately attempting to salvage what was supposed to be a well kept exclusive. “We had signed the slippery fucker on a four episode deal”, said a disillusioned high level MTV programming exec yesterday, “Osama said he was to move every three months so we naturally thought we were onto a series winner”

Bin Laden who had numerous bitching abodes around the mountainous borders of Afghanistan and Pakistan region had customized his Abbottabad crib with luxury plasma screen TV’s, JBL stereo equipment and heated toilet seats for the notoriously chilly sub continental winter. “he was a guy who knew how to evade capture in style, a bit like J-Lo or Whitney Houston, he could of course be a bit of a diva now and then, but a full on darling when the camera’s started rolling” said Cribs chief make up artist Steve Sassy

Monsieur Bin Laden died after an 80 minute siege on his Abbottabad Crib by US special forces on May 1st “we had been trying to get Osama for years” said Chad Williams, MTV senior programming acquisitions executive.

The only saving grace for saddened MTV bosses is the footage of Osama’s Andy Warhol-ed themed Panic Room which is claimed to reveal the terror chiefs “softer, artistic side” and although he wasn’t known to be the biggest fan of American culture it is claimed he “possessed several high end western art pieces including a Brian De Palma signed photo of Tony Montana from the movie Scarface”

Asked whether the Abbottabad Cribs ep is to be aired at some point Williams exclaimed “ if the US forces and Obama administration think they can take down the Pakistani governmental walls of national sovereignty they certainly had not cleared it with MTV Cribs” he continued “we are taking this breach of our programming rights seriously, we also had this shit happen when Saddam Hussein had signed on for a Cribs Christmas special in 2006”

BNP Launch Bid for SKY TV

Today, cross-eyed British National Party leader Nic Griffin announced his party’s proposal to bid for ownership rights for SKY and SKY News.

"We don’t know why we didn’t think of it years back! SKY TV represents a massive proportion of our demographic that we need to constantly engage with, making it a fantastic acquisition to our BNP portfolio of brands" Griffin continued; "We've also got our eye on Emmerdale and Coronation Street"

Griffin, whose far-right party have vigorously denied being a Neo-Nazi party also said; "We aren’t racist, we just want to uphold good old British values, of not liking foreigners whether it be at home or abroad, our terrible grasp of languages and beer consumption that turns frustrated shaven headed gents into barbarians by night”.

The pint-sized Asian-hater continued, “Anyone who watches SKY , inherently possess these great British values. They also give me airtime, which cant be a bad thing eh?”

When quizzed about his interest in British media , he also stated that soap operas such as Emmerdale and Coronation Street were "Good old British soaps which fairly represent the pure Christian white majority of British people, with the odd exception” he said pointing to a picture of Dav Patel.

Mr Griffin failed to comment on Eastenders.

Barack Obama Frees The Bantercasters!

As many of you now well know, myself (Charltzy) and my co-bantercaster-in-crime Tabbzy, have been freed from Gitzy Bay.

This is mainly due to now-President Barack Obama, (friend of the show and occasional contributor) closing down the infamous prison and allowing us to be tried in a court in our own country.

This naturally caused an international stir and we were singled out as 2 examples of why they shouldn't have closed the prison, unfair some may cry, probably justified others have said.

But our good friend Barack, known as B.Ozy to his friends, didn't back down and in fact defended us, and our actions in a recent 22-page interview with TIME magazine.


Now many of you are wondering, what exactly we could have done to be locked up without charge, thrown in the depths of a prison worse than a Benidorm hotel and the public being told we don't exist anymore.

Well, lets just say it involved some "religious types" throwing their weight around, an amusing T-shirt, beards catching on fire, the daughter of an Arab Prince, 6 bottles on cheap vodka and misunderstandings of the English language.

We'll let you fill in the details with your imagination. Your guesses are probably accurate.

Maybe now we can finally record episode 3 of the BanterCast!

Tabbzy & Charltzy Detained in Guantanamo Bay, BanterCast Postponed

Many people have wondered about the fate of the BanterCast, which since episode 2 has not seen any new instalments.

Everything was looking rosy for The Tabbzy and Charltzy Show, a new deal signed with Apple to have the show available on the iTunes store, Tabbzy involved in a major Bollywood production and Charltzy's court case finally being resolved.

Unfortunately the banterous duo have been accused of several major international crimes and are currently being held in Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba.

President-elect Barack Obama, a friend and fan of the show, is currently considering shutting down Guantanamo (known as "Gitzy Bay" by the locals) in order to free the 2 Bantercasters.

Until Obama is sworn in on the 20th of January, the anticipated third episode of the BanterCast will never go ahead.

Readers are encouraged to leave messages of support for Tabbzy and Charltzy in the comments section below.

Stay tuned to the BanterBlog for any updates.

Updated by a defence representative of her Majesty's Government.

Tabbzy's Bollywood Film Moves Into Post-Production

The film previously known as "Dance, Shoot, Sing" has found itself a new director and title as it movies into post-production.
Due to copyright infringements with 459 other movies, the film has now be renamed to "Mission: Undanceable".

Director Ashad Speilbergas describes the movie as "a violent cop thriller, based firmly on real life events".
When asked if it would conform to Bollywood stereotypes he answered "categorically not, it's far from your typical Bollywood movie, for a start we have hardly any dance scenes in it"
When pushed for examples he replied; " In one shoot-out and torture scene we even reduced it to just four dance routines."

Mr Speilbergas said that production is well under way and the Summer 2009 release date is looking likely to be honoured.

Tabbzy to Star in Bollywood Epic

Tabbzy drew huge crowds in Pakistan yesterday with his announcement that he was to star in a Bollywood movie.

Tabbzy had previously been a campaigner against Bollywood movies, but had recently had a change of heart.
"I saw one on TV the other night and it was alright" he said, leaving his hotel room.

Tentatively titled "Dance, Shoot, Sing" the action cop movie intends to break the mold of traditional Bollywood movies by featuring less than 35 dancing and singing scenes, apposed to the usual 120 required by the government.

Dance, Shoot, Sing does not have a final release date as yet, but hopes are for a Summer 2009 release.