FaceBook Friend Saves Man From Suicide, Two Weeks Too Late

On the 10th of February 2009, Barry Twinklemire, 26, was found dead in his 1 bedroom apartment in South West London.
According to his FaceBook history, Barry had left a suspicious message on his profile page, his last update of his online status had read "Barry Twinklemire is...going to kill self in bathtub with a laptop".

Police, who found him in the bathtub with his laptop, are calling it an "apparent suicide or a tragic incident".

Barry had over 67,000 friends on FaceBook, many of which had tried to help Barry by sending him a "hug" or a "poke" to prevent him from going through with it.

The police tried to contact many of these friends on why he might have done it, but none were available to comment.

The tragedy was also very nearly avoided, as Barry's FaceBook friend, Steve "The Party Sensation" Sandbrook, had read the suicide note on the social networking website.

"The minute I saw Barry's note, I jumped in my car and drove straight to his place to stop him" Mr Sandbrook said.
He continued; "I got there as fast as I could, but it was a long drive and ferry ride from the Isle of Man, plus I'd never met the guy before and only knew that he lived somewhere in London".

After a week and a half of investigating and searching through 34 different phonebooks, Steve found Barry's house, but was too late to save his friend.
"I was just a couple of weeks too late, but I gave it a bloody good shot", said a devasted Sandbrook.
"I'll probably just spend a few days exploring the captial before heading back home".

FaceBook director and founder, Mark Zuckerberg, saw the positive side of the incident:
"I think this story just proves how FaceBook brings people together, Larry Twanklemire might have just rotted away in his patheticly puny apartment if it hadn't been for the service, his friends really came through for him here".

Many of Barry Twinklemire's friends have left messages of condolence on his FaceBook page, and it has so far amassed over 8 comments.

Tabbzy & Charltzy Detained in Guantanamo Bay, BanterCast Postponed

Many people have wondered about the fate of the BanterCast, which since episode 2 has not seen any new instalments.

Everything was looking rosy for The Tabbzy and Charltzy Show, a new deal signed with Apple to have the show available on the iTunes store, Tabbzy involved in a major Bollywood production and Charltzy's court case finally being resolved.

Unfortunately the banterous duo have been accused of several major international crimes and are currently being held in Guantanamo Bay prison in Cuba.

President-elect Barack Obama, a friend and fan of the show, is currently considering shutting down Guantanamo (known as "Gitzy Bay" by the locals) in order to free the 2 Bantercasters.

Until Obama is sworn in on the 20th of January, the anticipated third episode of the BanterCast will never go ahead.

Readers are encouraged to leave messages of support for Tabbzy and Charltzy in the comments section below.

Stay tuned to the BanterBlog for any updates.

Updated by a defence representative of her Majesty's Government.

Jim Davidson Announces New Tour

Friend of the show and official sponsor of Episode 2 of The Tabbzy and Charltzy Show, Jim Davidson, announced today that he is to launch a brand new stand up comedy tour next February.


Titled "Straight, White and English" the stand-up routine will touch on many aspects of British life, mainly hatred towards anyone not white.
Jim said that despite the title of the tour, he invites people of all colours and race to come along to the show as he said "It should be a good laugh, as it helps the flow of comedy".

Disabled parking is not provided for show attendees, in fact Mr Davidson has specifically asked all ramps for wheelchair access to be removed from the theatres he will be playing at.

"Seeing them disabled fellas really brings down the mood of the show" he said in a press statement about the tour.

Tickets will be available for booking from the 12th of January, exclusively on the BNP website. A discount is available if you are any of the following:

*Over 50 years of age and never been to a foreign country (Passport required as proof)

*A dishonourably discharged member of the Armed Services.
*A group of 5 or more skinheads. (BNP Cards required)
*On the Dole or Jobseekers allowance (No job in past 5+ years only)

*Have only white friends (Full printout of Facebook friends required)

Tabbzy's Bollywood Film Moves Into Post-Production

The film previously known as "Dance, Shoot, Sing" has found itself a new director and title as it movies into post-production.
Due to copyright infringements with 459 other movies, the film has now be renamed to "Mission: Undanceable".

Director Ashad Speilbergas describes the movie as "a violent cop thriller, based firmly on real life events".
When asked if it would conform to Bollywood stereotypes he answered "categorically not, it's far from your typical Bollywood movie, for a start we have hardly any dance scenes in it"
When pushed for examples he replied; " In one shoot-out and torture scene we even reduced it to just four dance routines."

Mr Speilbergas said that production is well under way and the Summer 2009 release date is looking likely to be honoured.

Matt Groening Kills Self After Watching 20th Season of The Simpsons

Creator of the SImpsons, Matt "Groaning" Groening ended his own life yesterday in the office of his Los Angleles home.

Long honoured for creating 10 seasons of fantastic shows, Mr Groening had since handed production over to new younger writers at FOX.
The show had been running for 10 more seasons since then - the newest 20th season airing last month.
Unbeknownst to his ex-coworkers and family, Groening had not watched a single episode since he left the show ten years ago.

The shock of seeing how poor the show had become was too much to bear for him, so he took his own life with a necktie attached to a roof beam, believed to be emblazoned with the one-liner from the show "Eat My Shorts".

Police found Mr Groening, known as "Groanzy" to his friends, surrounded by several pre-release DVDs of the hideous 20th season of the show and a suicide note which read as follows:

"They killed it. I can't believe how much they killed it. I swear I didn't know. May God forgive me for unleashing this on the world -M.G".

A memorial service will be held for Groanzy later in the week.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs Endorses the BanterCast, Right to Marry Goats.

Steve Jobs with his shocking announcement earlier this week.

In a press conference held in California, USA early Friday morning, Director of Apple Computers, Steve "On The Job" Jobs announced that the Tabbzy and Charltzy Show would finally be available on the iTunes Music Store for download.

He apologised to fans for the delay, but as with all podcasts submitted to the online service, it had to go through a vigorous scanning to check for swearing, inappropriate language and insults to foreigners.
Thankfully it had just enough to pass Apples required amount.

Bizarrely, immediately after the event, Mr Jobs, known as "Jobzy" to his friends, was heard to mention one of his close relatives was to marry a farmyard goat, and that people "shouldn't be so snobby about who people choose for their wives".

Whether this damages the BanterCast reputation remains to be seen.

To subscribe to the BanterCast and receive all future episodes directly to your iTunes podcast page, you really should click the link below, or go to the iTunes store and search for "BanterCast".

I want to subscribe to the banter in iTunes!

The BanterCast: Episode 2 "J.D Baracus"

Episode 2 - "J.D Baracus". The BanterCast, AKA The Tabbzy & Charltzy Show.

Visualise the banter with banterous images, only available on an iPod made after 1985.

This week the lads:
*Run through the mailbag
*I can't believe I found that on the internet!
*Run down the Top 10 most livable places
*I can't believe they do that!

and more!

This Episode was brought to you by "J.D Baracus"

Download Episode 2