Today we have Social Networking or "I will disguise my pathetic excuse for a life by constantly telling everyone how interesting I am, but actually sounding like a complete twat in the process”
Digs at Social Networking are nothing new on the BanterBlog, heck we created Twatter before it actually turned into the real thing, and let’s not forget poor old Barry Twinklemire.
I guess it all started with Friend Reunited, or as we call it “Retards United” which was a well-meaning website that, officially, was trying to bring people together that might have lost contact, but in reality was a reason to boast about how you went to University compared to all the others in your class who are now smackhead McDonald managers.
At least that had a purpose, compared to what came next – Facebook. Now this is not even pretending to have some well meaning agenda, this is basically a list of everyone you’ve ever known/met/passed in the street.
This is how the FriendFace virus spreads: You say “Hi” in a pub to someone, they’re on your Shitface friends list.
They upload some pictures of you with your knob out, and they tag it with your name, before you know it 20 people have commented on the cock in question, so you add them as “friends” too.
The sickening thing is that now you feel happy that you’ve upped your friend count by 56 people from one night of naked wang-swinging.
Now of the 89,956 friends you have on your list, the 2 people you actually know will see not only your dick, but that you have a football stadium amount of friends.
Well, a round of fucking applause, you stupid twat.
Remember that dickhead you used to work with who boasted about how much they went out, a thinly disguised way of telling you how popular they are?
Arsebook has made it possible for EVERYONE to be that twat, not only that, but you don’t have to be at work, or even in the presence of an actual human fucking being to boast about it.
Don’t even get me started on Twitter, which is basically a simplified version of TitHeadBook for people with Attention Deficit Disorder.
Time to write something truthful on your next status update:
“I’m sat here all alone, I have no actual close friends, so I decided to lie and exaggerate about what I’m actually doing to make it look like I’m really busy and popular”
See also:
FaceBook Friend Saves Man From Suicide, Two Weeks Too Late
BanterCast Teams Up With Online Service "Twatter"
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