In a bizarre and unfortunate incident earlier this week, famed street "magician" David Blaine disappeared from his New York apartment, much to the distress of his family and friend. (pet ferret called Tito)
NYPD police chief Jack Bastorde, was initially concerned it was a terrorist kidnapping plot:
"My first thought was that it must be one of them Bin Laden-type folks from Kaplakistan, till we realised who it was that had gone missing and started looking closer to home"
Chief Bastorde's blatant racism and quick thinking led him to realise that Mr Blaine was most probably still in his apartment somewhere inside his own anal passage.
"We found the sucker curled up on his sofa, his head was clean up his ass" the Bastorde continued, "We think he'd been watching his own DVD's, probably what caused it to happen"
This is not the first time a celebrity has disappeared up their own arse hole, earlier in the year TV presenter Jeremy Kyle had to have his head surgically removed from between his arse cheeks.
