An emergency C.R.O.T.C.H today, getting rightly pissed off with all the commentary and bullshit surrounding the riots, here we go:
The riots in the UK or "Why a bunch of commercialised fuckwads on summer holidays decided to show the world how fucking vile British people can be"
Lots of people blaming all sorts for the riots, they're all wrong of course, here's why.
"It's David Cameron's fault cos he's dead posh and shit"
OK I agree Cameron is a worthless piece of shit, born with a sliver spoon up his arse and hates anyone who didn't go to Eton, but he didn't start the British culture of masturbating over celebrity culture, commercialism, racism, laziness and the feeling the Government owes them a living.
Fuck U Cam'run we stealin dem Mars Bars
"It's just London cos it's full of blacks innit"
The peaceful demonstration that took place before the riots was almost exclusively attended by black people. The looting and rioting started then suddenly the crowds started looking whiter and whiter. How the fuck is thieving a 42 inch TV in a transit van anything to do with protesting police brutality against a black man?
"It's rap music that warps them kids, even the white kids are starting to talk like blacks now"
Nice bit of blatent generalisation and racism there. Look, I listen to rap music more than director of the MOBO awards, and let me tell you the little fuckers riding out of London on their BMX's carrying a Blu-ray player under there arms don't sound anything like rap musicians or American gangsters.
These shits listen to rap music and hear 50 Cent, Eminem etc talking about how they had to deal drugs, kill or steal to make a living and think they are in a similar predicament.
REALITY CHECK FUCKWADS, those people didn't have anything like welfare, child benefits or giros to help them, they had nothing.
Lets send every gangster-wannabe shitwad to Compton and see how long they last with their half-cockney half-2Pac accents.
"People are generalising the working class and calling them all chavs, these poor white people are the last group in Britain where it's socially accepted to insult."
Are you fucking kidding me? Poor WHITE people? Yeah the repressed white folk of England, poor sods they've had a hard life of repression and racism thrown against them.
Sorry did I say against? I meant FROM.
BNP doesn't stand for Black National Party you fuckers, white folk are in poverty because they are lazy worthless pieces of shit who prefer hand-outs to working for a living.
Yeeeee man we iz protesin an shit
"It's all these immigrants taking money from England even though they wasn't born here, them lot taking all the jobs making all the white people unemployed"
Get a fucking grip, immigrants are among the hardest working people IN Britain, you think they left their families to go to predominately racist country so they could live off benefits, or was it possibly to escape death/poverty and the potential for a better life.
I could just imagine Dave A sitting on his partially-obese arse, playing on his Xbox 360 he bought with his jobseekers allowance, (which he's been on for 8 years) pack of Lambert and Butler in one hand, 2-litre bottle of Strongbow in the other, calling his friend Dave B on his Blackberry asking what he's "up ta today", casually insulting an Asian woman he just saw on Ready Steady Cook, wanking off over his Dad's (Cousin's) copy of Brazzers then getting dressed and going out at 10pm to smash up a curry restaurant "cos them people shouldn't be 'ere takin' all ar jobs man".
"These kids have got nothing, they're so bored"
Cry me a river you little cunt. Have nothing? So the council flat/house they live in for free, the food vouchers and living allowances they receive, the job centre advice they get (and ignore) is all nothing?
Maybe you should turn that freshly-stolen Plasma TV on to BBC World News and see what's going on in the world. People fighting to live, people rebuilding their houses after a fucking great earthquake knocked it down, people fighting against government violence toward PEACEFUL PROTESTS - the UK is a safe and pleasant place to live, don't give me any of that bullshit.
If you are in a position to be bored, you find something to do, something that doesn't involve injuring random people and property, it's not fucking hard to NOT hurt someone.
If you have a TV, games console or books at home, (that last item was a joke by the way) that's already worth more than most people in the 3rd world earn in 5 years.
No one "owes" you anything, you want something to cure your boredom? Go out and fucking work for it, or study for qualifications that will get you a job so you can buy it. It's not rocket science for fucks sake.
Dem Jeans gonna look well good when I pick up me giro 2moro
Other fucked up things:
*In the UK we PAY 6th Form college students to stay in school. If they complete a full weeks attendance they get cash. Note it doesn't matter if they sit in the classroom texting/whacking off, and ultimately get an F-minus, at least they've been to college innit.
Fucking ridiculous. Any other country would have people begging for education and a chance to have a better job/life, maybe because they have to pay for it by working hard.
Even with the recent University fees increase, a British degree is ridiculously cheap compared to other countries. I know in Japan it costs £9,000 per semester at minimum and there are no student loan companies. Thanks to all that bullshit, British degrees are now worthless.
*We have a culture of benefit frauds. What other country has masses of lazy shit-sucking twat-wads who'd rather sit on their arses and expect the government to pay them through life?
Seriously name one please. It is fucking insulting that we have to have people going around checking disabled people to see if they can actually walk and aren't just faking it.
You know what happens if you get cancer or your leg blown off in other countries? You pay for the operation or you die. Any help they get is from family members or volunteers. Who would fake injury or illness if that's how you got help? Benefit frauds should be shipped to Somalia, no questions asked.
*We have a drinking culture worse than a thousand Irelands, one that encourages drinking and twattish behaviour from a young age. Where some countries these statements would be heard in an AA meeting, these are acceptable daily cuntisms heard in any part of the UK:
"How many pints you have last night? Six? You fucking puff!"
"Was drinking all last night, was fucking wasted!" "Fucking ace mate"
"You off out for drinks on Friday, Saturday & Sunday night?" "Nah not Sunday" "Fucking puff"
"I had four lagers, moved onto cider then was on Bacardi till the end of the night." "Barcardi? Fucking pufter"
After your lobotomy, you can be just like us kids!
*We have a celebrity culture that breeds a nation of X-Fuckter contestants and brainless Hello magazine reading retards.
When young people are surveyed about what they want to be when they grown up, the answer is usually "famous". Not famous footballer or famous singer, just famous.
When we have reality shows that allow brain-damaged morons to dick about on TV during prime time, you know something is wrong. Geordie Shore being possibly the ultimate example of what is wrong with culture in the UK. Drunken, talentless, fat, shitheaded, worthless pieces of shit allowed to be be on TV. Those people should have full-time carers and padded helmets, not a camera crew. Kids are probably thinking these reality stars don't have any qualifications or brain cells, so why should I?
If that is all the people have to look forward to in life, why not just kill yourself right now and save us all some (air) time.
Rant end / conclusion
So if everyone is mollycoddled, commercialised and boozed-up from a young age, of course these kids are going to grow up wanting expensive electronic gadgets, £200 trainers and fast cars, but at the same time they're not going to want to work for them.
They'll blame the police, government, a random ethnic group that lives 2-doors down or anyone else that isn't themselves.
But it all boils down to this.
The vicious circle:
Step 1: Parents are lazy benefit-sucking shits who don't work for a living because they get more money living off giros.
Step 2: Kids shoot out the vaginas of these people who become like their scum bag parents.
Step 3: Repeat from Step 1 until country internally explodes.
OK I'd done now, I'm just going to re-watch the clip of the injured boy getting mugged while shredding my British passport.
